Mother Overcomes Postpartum Depression to Advocate for Others

After giving birth to twins, Ivana Poku faced a harrowing battle with postpartum depression that led her to experience distressing thoughts about harming her children. Living in Scotland, Poku’s journey highlights the often-unspoken struggles of new mothers dealing with mental health issues. Today, she advocates for maternal mental health, helping others understand that they are not alone in their experiences.

Poku recalls a moment when she was home alone with her twins. One child was on her lap while the other was secured in a bouncer. Suddenly, she felt an overwhelming urge to harm the baby in her arms. “It was like something possessed my brain and my body,” she shared. Recognizing the danger, she quickly secured the baby and locked herself in her bedroom, consumed by fear and confusion. “It’s not like you’re sitting there thinking, ‘Let’s hurt my baby,’” Poku explained. “It’s an illness, and this is the symptom of the illness.”

At the age of 32, Poku reflected on her mental health decline since the birth of her twins. Although she was never formally diagnosed, she believes her experiences aligned with symptoms of postpartum depression, possibly bordering on postpartum psychosis. Instead of feeling the anticipated surge of love, she encountered numbness and guilt. According to clinical psychologist and trauma expert Dr. Shahrzad Jalali, “About 70 to 80 percent of new mothers experience what we call the ‘baby blues’ in the first few days after giving birth.” These feelings typically resolve within a few weeks, but when they persist or disrupt daily functioning, they may indicate postpartum depression, which affects roughly one in seven new mothers globally.

Poku’s struggle intensified as she grappled with feelings of inadequacy. “I didn’t feel happy,” she said. “I thought that made me a horrible mother.” The isolation of her new life, compounded by a recent move to a different town and her husband’s long working hours, left her feeling disconnected. “Most of the time, it was just me,” she recalled. “No friends, no family, no support.”

Despite receiving information about support lines, reaching out felt insurmountable. “They tell you to call someone, but when you’re in that state, it’s the last thing you can do,” she described. The turning point came when a friend visited unexpectedly and found her in deep despair. Poku opened up about her feelings, and the absence of judgment in that moment proved liberating. Her husband’s support also played a crucial role in her recovery, reminding her that struggling as a mother does not indicate weakness.

As Poku began to heal, she felt compelled to share her experiences. She discovered that many mothers, even those who appeared to have everything together, were also silently suffering. This realization propelled her to launch Mum’s Journey, a blog where she candidly discusses the realities of motherhood and postpartum mental health. Her book, “Motherhood: The Unspoken,” compiles stories from mothers worldwide, aimed at providing comfort and understanding.

Poku has also developed a course focused on preparing for postpartum emotional wellbeing. She emphasizes that this initiative is not intended to frighten expecting mothers but rather to equip them with knowledge. “If I had known those feelings were normal,” she noted, “I wouldn’t have struggled in silence. Proper education is essential.”

Dr. Jalali stresses the importance of support for mothers experiencing postpartum depression. “If a mother notices persistent sadness, loss of pleasure, feelings of guilt, or intrusive thoughts, she should reach out to a healthcare provider,” she advised. Building a support network and offering compassion can significantly impact a mother’s recovery.

Today, Ivana Poku is a mother of three and a dedicated maternal mental health advocate. Although she is not a clinician, her lived experiences resonate with many, making her a trusted voice in the maternal wellness community. “Many mothers have told me I helped them more than a psychologist,” she reflected. “Maybe because I’ve been there.” Through her advocacy work, Poku continues to dismantle the stigma surrounding postpartum mental illness, providing a lifeline to women who find solace in her story.