Gift Shop Owner Faces Dilemma Over Unused Gift Certificates

A retail gift shop owner in Kansas City is grappling with an ethical dilemma regarding a series of unredeemed gift certificates purchased by a gentleman from the West Coast for his sister. Each year, he buys substantial gift certificates intended for her use, but she has not returned to the shop despite multiple attempts to reach out.

The shop owner detailed that she has kept meticulous records of each gift certificate sold and redeemed. Over the years, the sister visited the shop only once, requesting a specific hand-blown glass item that was out of stock at the time. Since that visit, the item has been restocked, yet the sister has not returned to redeem her certificates, which do not expire.

In a recent correspondence with the brother, the shop owner refrained from mentioning that his sister has not used the gift certificates. Instead, she sent a polite note indicating that the desired item was now available, along with the store hours, expressing hope to see her again. It has now been six months since her last visit, prompting the owner to contemplate whether to inform the brother about the situation.

Miss Manners provided guidance on this delicate matter, suggesting a tactful approach. She recommended that the shop owner express concern for the sister’s well-being. By stating, “I hope that your sister is well. I haven’t seen her in the shop in a while, and I was concerned,” the owner can gently inform the brother while framing the conversation around her health. This method not only addresses the issue but also avoids potential embarrassment for the sister if she has changed her shopping preferences.

The brother, unaware of the situation, may appreciate the nudge and encourage his sister to redeem her gift certificates. This approach allows the shop owner to maintain professionalism while also considering the feelings of all parties involved.

In another query addressed by Miss Manners, a reader raised concerns about a colleague who modifies shared food items during office gatherings. The colleague adheres to a no-carb diet and often alters shared dishes instead of serving herself from a separate plate.

The reader expressed discomfort about the leftover food remnants left on serving platters. Miss Manners suggested a polite intervention, recommending the reader offer their colleague a piece first, thereby encouraging her to take her food separately. This approach allows for a more considerate dining experience without directly confronting the colleague about her habits.

For those seeking advice on social etiquette or communication dilemmas, Miss Manners invites questions through her website or email. With her guidance, individuals can navigate complex social situations with grace and tact.