Neighbors Disagree on Door Etiquette Following Disturbing Incident

A recent discussion on a neighborhood app has ignited a debate around door etiquette and safety after a resident reported a disconcerting encounter with two young men who knocked on her door. The neighbor, who monitored the situation via her security camera, did not recognize the individuals but chose to open the door, resulting in feelings of unease.

In response to the incident, one resident suggested that ignoring knocks on the door is a reasonable and safe practice. This perspective, however, met with resistance from another neighbor who argued that failing to answer the door could be seen as impolite. The disagreement raises important questions about social etiquette versus personal safety.

Miss Manners has weighed in on the matter, emphasizing that safety should take precedence over etiquette. She stated, “You do not need to be welcoming to someone who is robbing your house.” The unsettling experience of the neighbor clearly indicated that opening the door was not advisable.

The legal principles of trespassing further support Miss Manners’ assertion, highlighting that even law enforcement requires a warrant to enter a private residence. Thus, ignoring a knock from an unknown individual is not only acceptable but potentially prudent.

In a separate inquiry, a reader expressed concern about managing food allergies while attending dinner parties. The individual noted that they could navigate their allergies at home and in some restaurants but found social dining more challenging. Upon learning that a planned menu contained allergens, they sought guidance on how to respond.

Miss Manners reassured the reader that mentioning food allergies to a host is both appropriate and necessary. She argued that accommodating dietary restrictions is far less burdensome than the consequences of a health crisis due to an allergic reaction. Therefore, the reader is encouraged to communicate openly with potential hosts about their dietary needs, even if that means bringing their own food.

Another question addressed by Miss Manners involved the etiquette of sharing costs while dining out with companions. A reader shared an experience during a group tour abroad, where she invited fellow travelers to share a bottle of wine. When one declined and ordered a soda instead, the reader pondered whether she was obligated to pay for the soda.

In this instance, Miss Manners clarified that the obligation to cover the cost of drinks is not absolute but rather a matter of courtesy. She emphasized that treating friends to a drink is a gesture of goodwill, and accommodating a friend’s choice should not jeopardize the friendship. Paying for the soda was considered gracious, while extending the invitation to a cocktail could also be seen as a kind gesture.

For those navigating the complexities of social interactions, Miss Manners continues to offer guidance through her platform. Individuals seeking advice can reach out via her website, email, or postal mail to ensure their questions about etiquette are addressed with the care and insight they deserve.

In a world where personal safety, health concerns, and social norms intersect, Miss Manners’ insights provide valuable perspective on how to navigate these often-challenging situations.