Kid Cudi Opens Up About Near-Death Experience and Struggles

In a revealing excerpt from his upcoming memoir, Cudi the Memoir, set to be released on August 12, 2023, rapper and musician Kid Cudi reflects on his experiences with drug dependency and suicidal thoughts. Cudi’s openness about his struggles has resonated with many fans worldwide, making them feel less isolated in their own battles.

Facing Darkness: A Personal Account

In the excerpt published by GQ, Cudi describes a near-fatal drug overdose that occurred while he was working on his album Man on the Moon II around 2010. He candidly recounts feeling at peace with the idea of dying, stating, “I was at peace with dying.” During this intense moment, he found himself alone in his New York apartment, overwhelmed with emotion while listening to Lykke Li’s song “Time Flies” on repeat. The combination of the song’s melancholic melodies and his drug use left him feeling detached from reality.

As he struggled to regain his composure, Cudi explained, “I tried to get up off the bed, but my legs wouldn’t work, so I collapsed to the floor and started to crawl.” He described the physical sensation of his heart racing, feeling as if it would burst. This moment marked a significant low point in his life, illustrating the depths of his despair.

The Burden of Being a Role Model

Despite being viewed as a role model by many, Cudi expressed feelings of inadequacy and isolation. He noted, “I was a lighthouse for others, but I couldn’t find my own way.” This profound sense of disconnect highlights the struggle many face when trying to provide support to others while grappling with their own challenges. Cudi’s vulnerability has been a source of solace for fans who share similar experiences.

Reflecting further on his mental state, Cudi shared memories from the recording sessions of his 2015 album Speedin’ Bullet to Heaven. He admitted to contemplating suicide during that period, revealing, “After we’d finished a session, I’d be alone Googling exit bags.” Cudi candidly stated that he intended for the album to be his last project, revealing plans to end his life either before its release or during its promotional cycle. “Not many people around me expected me to either,” he added, emphasizing the gravity of his situation.

Kid Cudi’s memoir serves not only as a personal narrative but also as a beacon of hope. It highlights the importance of mental health awareness and the need for open conversations about struggles with mental illness and substance abuse. His story resonates with countless individuals, reminding them that they are not alone in their battles.

In conjunction with the memoir’s release, Cudi will unveil his 12th studio album, Free, on August 22, 2023. The dual release of his memoir and album is anticipated to further connect with his audience, fostering a deeper understanding of his journey.

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide or substance abuse, help is available. You can contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration for confidential support.